youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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