is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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