she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
