sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
