My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
