Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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