I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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