I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
