So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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