She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
