I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
