i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hippo gnu deer
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
