What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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