Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
