I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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