Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
