my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
