lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
People in love make me want to vomit
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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