You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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