Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
