im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
