You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
