PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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