IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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