I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
