my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just had sex bonerless
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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