so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
