He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
