all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
