I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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