so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize