If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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