wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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