Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my poor anus
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
