Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
