Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
