just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
