Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
