I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize