I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
