I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
