if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
