so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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