You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
