porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
