brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
