Apparently you make a good broom.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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