That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
