I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
As shirtless as possible
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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