I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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