An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
