i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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