how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I need a beard to bite.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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