I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
