we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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