Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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