I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
