Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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