How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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