we need to drink 2009 down the drain
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
