There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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