yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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